John: Awful. We missed your help. Trust me, I would rather have spent the entire day at Kin Beach.
Shenley: Couldn’t have been that bad.
John: Oh it was. Trust me.
Flashback to the morning…
Bang! Bang! Bang! BANG!!!
John: Arghhhhhhh! G#$ Damn it! The nail keeps bending when I hammer it.
Shelley: John! Shhhh!! The renters are downstairs.
John: No they’re not. They’ve gone camping. In their trailer. In the sunshine. In warm weather. Not in this F@#ing bathroom that, surprise, surprise, doesn’t even have mold after all. What the F$%k was Penny Lane (Our property management company) talking about? (Assumes an authoritative voice)
“John and Shelley, we regret to inform you that there’s a mold issue in the middle bathroom of your rental. It needs to be addressed immediately.”
Shelley: Oh for God’s sake relax, we’re almost done.
John: (Mimicking) Oh for God’s sakes relax, we’re almost done. We’re almost done. No, you’re almost done. I, on the other hand, am not almost done because I can not get this nail to go into the quarter round.
won’t you go in? (Bang!)
Noooooo! You just bent again. You! You! You son of a…
Shelley: John! The neighbour will hear us.
John: Oh, the neighbour who owns the other side of the duplex, the neighbour who said, (With a high voice),
“Excuse me, but I just wanted to share with your that the fence joining our property waves back and forth in the wind. I know something should be done about it, but I just don’t know where to start. Can you take a look at it?”
“Sure, useless as “tits on a bull” lady, I sure can take a look at it, as soon as I finish this (Bang!)
Fuuuuuuuuuccccckkkkkkkk! I can’t do this. (Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bannnnggggggggg!)
I need to find something I can do.
Shelley: There’s plenty you can do. You can cut tiles. You can put up baseboards. You can instal toilets.
IT! (Bang! Bang! BANG!!!)
Back to the present…
Shenley: Ha! Ha! Ha! I remember trying to hammer nails by hand into the quarter round. Same thing happened to me. Using the compressed air hammer gun is the only way. Why didn’t you use mine? You had it.
John: Because I couldn’t get it to compress.
Shenley: You should have called me. I have a new one in the garage. Now that thing can hammer through steel.
Shelley and John