There’s Going to be S#$T and H#LL to Pay

Taylor and Mia giving Auntie Shelley some love

My nieces, Taylor and Mia giving Auntie Shelley some love as she rests her foot

Doctor: How’s it going?

Shelley: Now that my foot feels better, awesome. Thank goodness, because John and I recently celebrated “Christmas in July” with our kids (Matt and Andrew) and their significant others (Ash and Emma).

Christmas in July

Christmas in July (Bottom middle – Me, Ash, Emma, Matt, John, Andrew)

Doctor: Nice. Now tell me how you strained the tendon in your foot. (Opens his folder, takes out his pen)

Shelley: I was out for a run, came upon road construction, stepped on an uneven surface, and felt a ping in my foot. Since it didn’t hurt, I ran home. But as the evening wore on, it became more and more painful. Eventually, I couldn’t walk on it even after a gin and tonic. Ha! Ha! Ha!

Doctor: (Stops writing)…

Shelley: No?

Doctor: And?

Shelley: And since I’d injured it in the exact same place twice before, all I wanted to do was rest and ice it.

Doctor: (Making notes) Bring me up to speed on those.

Shelley: The first time was when I yanked my foot out of a pile of rocks. By the time I arrived home, I was in agony, near death, but John and Andrew ignored me. I had to hop in front of the TV, and lift my injured foot in front of the screen to get their attention. Do you know what they said?

Doctor: No idea.

Shelley: They said,

“Hey! We’re watching Manchester United. If they’d scored, we would’ve missed the goal.”

Doctor: Thank God you survived such a harrowing ordeal.

Shelley: Right?

Doctor and Shelley: Ha! Ha! Ha!

Shelley: The second injury was while visiting my sister, Shannon. That time John’s response was appropriate. He insisted on taking me to the doctor. But all that doctor did was pulled it around, then, without taking an x-ray, proclaimed,

“Lucky for you, you’ve only stressed your tendon. No bones are broken.”

and sent me home. Lucky for him, I didn’t die of pain.

Doctor: So lucky. But this time, you did have x-rays.

Shelley: Yes, I finally agreed to go to Emergency with John. I didn’t want to. I was certain it wouldn’t be broken and the trip a waste of time. God, I was so upset with the timing of it all. My brother, Spencer, and his family were visiting. My kids were arriving in less than a week. To be honest, I may have been a little unreasonable, upset, impatient with John.

Doctor: Considering the circumstances, I’m sure John forgave you.

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Shelley: Eventually.

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Shelley and John

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25 thoughts on “There’s Going to be S#$T and H#LL to Pay

  1. Love the book title on the bed. Strategic placement? The crowns seem befitting and your champagne flute, exquisite! You do know the frequency of these ‘incidents’ rise in proportion to our chronological journey? Glad, of course, that all’s well and you are surrounded by loving, sympathetic family. 🙂

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  2. Good to know my darling brother is taking care of you…….! Hope the foot is healed and you don’t do any more damage to it xx🐝

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  3. Shelley, whenever I see a new post from you in my email, I know I need to stretch the abdominal muscles ‘cuz I’m gonna be laughing and they’re gonna be hurting.

    You delivered again.

    Feel better soon!! (And take care of yourself!)

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    • Ha! Ha! Thanks Cindi. Foot is all better, although I’m only running on flat surfaces just in case as I don’t think John will be as nice the second time around!

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    • Ronnie, exactly. It was all in the name of fun. I didn’t include how he started running down the hall with me in the wheel chair, causing the nurse to give him an earful. He suggested that I kick the door open with my good foot. Oh boy!

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  4. Love your nieces and their adoration of their crazy Aunt Shelley! I also enjoyed your Christmas in July photos. You always bring me giggles, along with I have to say it: ‘You are a hoot and holler’ kind of gal! Smiles, Robin

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    • Thanks. My nieces know who to love. Glad to make you giggle. John is starting to think the hospital is funny. Not sure why it took him so long. Signed, “Hoot and Holler.” 🙂

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  5. Shelley Girl! My bestest Buddy! You are hurt? You are injured? Are you in much pain? Are you sure you iced long enough? Really girl I think you should get a second opinion! Are you on Morphine at least? Oh Sweetie I do worry about you! If this interferes with our rock climbing, which I have just returned from Majorca doing what are we going to do? Sigh….Miss you Tons!

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    • And that, Ladies and Gentlemen is the appropriate response. 🙂 Dear Cinders, I am all healed up. Apparently the tendon is the weakest link on my foot so if there’s stress, it will be the first to go. I might have had a Tylenol or two. Shhh. How was the rock climbing? Send pic’s. We are off to Sayward to catch some pinks. Have only climbed on real rock once this summers. Too bummed!

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  6. I love how much fun you show John having at the hospital. Is his ‘time up yet?’ Are you still scared to pick him up for the Heck you and Sh– you will pay for this? Smiles, Robin

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