Shelley: Emma, did you know that they filmed a scene from “Star Wars” here in Cathedral Grove?
Matt: Mom, you have to stop telling people that.
Shelley: But it’s true.
Matt: No. Not at all.
Shelley: Pretty sure it is.
Matt: Which scene?
Shelley: The one where they’re chasing everyone through the trees. Bam. Boo Yah!
Matt: OK. They filmed the chase scene from “Return of the Jedi” in the California Redwoods.
Shelley: And for years I’ve been telling people it was filmed here. Cool story though, right Emma?
Shelley: Speaking of movies. I actually have an outline for one. Dad dies and…
John: Why do I have to die?
Shelley: Because it’s integral to the plot.
John: I don’t want to die.
Shelley: John, one of us has to die. It can’t be me because I already have the opening scene sorted out.
Opening Scene: Soft, muted light with sad, very sad music. The camera zooms in for a close up of Shelley who is wearing a black, sleeveless, square neckline, classic, think Jackie O, Armani dress that can be worn more than once, which is important because for the kind of cash she put out for that little number, it’s imperative she gets her moneys’ worth. Shelley perches on a bench, weeps inconsolably into her hanky. All alone, except for her memories of the Rv’ing adventures she shared with her dearly departed husband, John.
John: I still don’t want to die.
Matt: Why can’t the movie be about your Rv’ing adventures without dad dying?
John: Yeah, I don’t want to die.
Shelley: Fine. John doesn’t die. I guess the opening scene could show John and I saying good-bye to our colleagues at the American School in Japan but within minutes of us leaving, our friends, Aaron and Julie, throw together a betting pool on how long we stay retired. Hmmm… that might work but I’m not so sure about making yet another road trip movie. How would this one be any different?
Matt: Because it’s about a newly retired couple who’ve never RV’d before.
Shelley: What’s the point?
Matt: The point is how you guys handle your escalating risky adventures until finally you’re caught in one you can’t escape. For example, this winter, when you travel to the Baja Peninsula in Mexico, you end up in a Mexican prison.
Shelley: But that’s not original either. We need a twist. I’ve got it! John could die in a Mexican prison.
John: I don’t want to die in a Mexican prison.
Shelley: John, you really aren’t helping. Ahhh never mind. You can live. The twist is Andrew, Ash, Matt and Emma rush to Mexico in an attempt to rescue us but they end up in jail too. Then mom and dad try to spring us, but they’re also thrown in, until finally, Shenley, as usual, saves the day. Yep. That could work.
Then, in the final scene, I promise John I’ll never force him into doing something he’s not comfortable with ever again, but I turn and wink at the camera.
The end. Ha! Ha!
Right. Matt, you’re the director. John, you’re in charge of promotions. Emma, want to be a co-producer and casting director with me?
Shelley: We need to decide who plays us. Obviously Courtenay Cox will be me.
Matt Damon for Andrew and Beyonce for Ash.
Jason Statham for John.
Emma: Joseph Gordon-Levitt should play Matt.
Matt: Him? But he played Robin. I’m Batman.
Emma: Oh Matt, he’s so loveable. Like you.
Emma and Matt: Mwahhh. Kiss. Kiss.
Emma: I took this online quiz that says Julia Roberts would play me but she’s too old.
Shelley: By far. You need a Scottish actress to play you. I can’t think of one off the top of my head but I have an idea. Maybe…
Matt: I have an idea too. Why don’t we continue to plan the movie over lunch but for now enjoy the Grove?
Shelley: Good idea. Emma, did you know that they filmed the chase scene from “Star Wars” in Cathedral Grove?
Shelley and John
Which ACTOR Would Play you in the STORY OF YOUR LIFE? Click on the link below to find out. Let me know your results.