How to Spot a Russian Hooker

During the 2014 Dubai Sevens weekend…

The Burj, Kuwait

The Burj, Dubais

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Matt, John, Motaz, Emma, Kareem, Tyler, Ali, Salman

Emma and Motaz

Emma and Motaz

The Queens of England, Kareem and Matt

The Queens of England, Kareem and Matt

Kareem: Do you know if a woman says she’s a real estate agent and if her dress is exactly 1 to 1.73 inches below the crotch, she’s a Russian Hooker.

Ali: Exactly?

Kareem: Yes. Yes. Exactly. Very important.

Shelley: Emma! These people want to meet you. They’re from Scotland too. Maybe you know them.

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Kareem: Also, if she has a medium tan, she’s a Russian Hooker.

Random guy walking by: Hey! Superman!

Matt: What about this costume makes you think I’m Superman? Do you see a logo on my chest? No? That’s because I’m Cyclops.

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Kareem: And if she sits all alone at the bar in a club because she’s working, she’s a Russian Hooker.

Shelley: Heyyyy!! Let’s slow clap France in. Ready everyone? Frannnce… Frannce… France… Frannnnccceeee!!!!!

Kareem: And if she goes up to other hot women and shares information about her recent transactions, she’s a Russian Hooker. Russian Hookers are not… are not…

Chaz: Territorial?

Kareem: Yes. Yes. Territorial. Russian Hookers share their work space. If she crosses her legs, has one drink all night, two if she’s fancy, the drink is never a beer, it’s either gin or vodka, it has to be clear, she’s a Russian Hooker.

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Another random guy: Hey honey check out the lame Wolverine.

Tyler: (Makes a very rude gesture. Very)

Kareem: If she never dances on the floor, only sits and shimmies her shoulders, she’s a Russian Hooker. She doesn’t have time for that because she’s working. And no smiles. Well hardly any smiles.

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Random lady: Oh my God! Those eye brows scare the S@#T out of me.

John: Thank you.

Yet Another random guy: Hey Superman where’s your cape?

Matt: Don’t you know anything? Cyclops doesn’t have a cape.

Kareem: If a lot of men approach her, and if she makes conversation with them by talking into their ears, she’s a Russian Hooker. She might even laugh. But after three or four minutes, they’ll leave because they’ve found out the price.

Chaz: Kareem, come on admit it, you can’t spot a Russian Hooker.

Kareem: Swear to God. But my rules are only100% accurate if she’s in a club.

John: Hey! Hey! You go ahead. Walk right in front of us. We’re only trying to take a picture.

Kareem: Never mind. I’ll take a Selfie.

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Shelley: Emma! What are the odds that these people are from Scotland too? Come and meet them. They’re from the same village as Susan Boyle.

Ring. Ring.

Kareem: Guys! That was 7Days calling to say we’ve won one hour in the best seats in the house with free drinks. We’ve got to leave right now.

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Shelley: But what about Ali?

Kareem: He’ll be fine, he’s talking to Pocahontas.

Yet another random guy: Hey Superman.

Matt: God Damn it!

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And a few pic’s from the next day…
View from the tallest building in the world, the Burj.

View from the tallest building in the world, the Burj.

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International School of Kuala Lumpur reunion

International School of Kuala Lumpur reunion

And a little video highlighting our Middle East Trip…
Day 90, Dec. 10th:2014
Shelley and John, volunteer travel reporters for “The Comox Valley Echo.”
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21 thoughts on “How to Spot a Russian Hooker

  1. I love the outfits!! John’s eyebrows were amazing, he looked like a Bond character, really menacing!! I expect I should know who he was supposed to be???!!! You certainly looked like you had fun but then you always do! I guess that’s because you make the fun…..😜

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  2. Ok, I’m going with the flow. I realize we’re on a global itinerary now. Very cool! Please let Kareem know that one of my dearest and still most beautiful friends from HS days is from the Ukraine. She disputes his research. And the eyebrows, clearly they have it. 🙂 Are they from Scotland too? Onward… happily.

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    • He swears his theory works but not in bars, only clubs. Of course all his research comes from Dubai not Kuwait as Kuwait does not have any clubs. John’s eyebrows were crazy. More than one reveller commented on them. 🙂

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  3. So much fun, as always! I don’t know about how to spot Russian Hookers, but many of the things he said could apply in the US as well. 😉 Really enjoying your world tour. Where to next????

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