How to Spot a Russian Hooker

During the 2014 Dubai Sevens weekend…

The Burj, Dubais

Matt, John, Motaz, Emma, Kareem, Tyler, Ali, Salman

Emma and Motaz

The Queens of England, Kareem and Matt

Kareem: Do you know if a woman says she’s a real estate agent and if her dress is exactly 1 to 1.73 inches below the crotch, she’s a Russian Hooker.

Ali: Exactly?

Kareem: Yes. Yes. Exactly. Very important.

Shelley: Emma! These people want to meet you. They’re from Scotland too. Maybe you know them.

Kareem: Also, if she has a medium tan, she’s a Russian Hooker.

Random guy walking by: Hey! Superman!

Matt: What about this costume makes you think I’m Superman? Do you see a logo on my chest? No? That’s because I’m Cyclops.

Kareem: And if she sits all alone at the bar in a club because she’s working, she’s a Russian Hooker.

Shelley: Heyyyy!! Let’s slow clap France in. Ready everyone? Frannnce… Frannce… France… Frannnnccceeee!!!!!

Kareem: And if she goes up to other hot women and shares information about her recent transactions, she’s a Russian Hooker. Russian Hookers are not… are not…

Chaz: Territorial?

Kareem: Yes. Yes. Territorial. Russian Hookers share their work space. If she crosses her legs, has one drink all night, two if she’s fancy, the drink is never a beer, it’s either gin or vodka, it has to be clear, she’s a Russian Hooker.

Another random guy: Hey honey check out the lame Wolverine.

Tyler: (Makes a very rude gesture. Very)

Kareem: If she never dances on the floor, only sits and shimmies her shoulders, she’s a Russian Hooker. She doesn’t have time for that because she’s working. And no smiles. Well hardly any smiles.

Random lady: Oh my God! Those eye brows scare the S@#T out of me.

John: Thank you.

Yet Another random guy: Hey Superman where’s your cape?

Matt: Don’t you know anything? Cyclops doesn’t have a cape.

Kareem: If a lot of men approach her, and if she makes conversation with them by talking into their ears, she’s a Russian Hooker. She might even laugh. But after three or four minutes, they’ll leave because they’ve found out the price.

Chaz: Kareem, come on admit it, you can’t spot a Russian Hooker.

Kareem: Swear to God. But my rules are only100% accurate if she’s in a club.

John: Hey! Hey! You go ahead. Walk right in front of us. We’re only trying to take a picture.

Kareem: Never mind. I’ll take a Selfie.

Shelley: Emma! What are the odds that these people are from Scotland too? Come and meet them. They’re from the same village as Susan Boyle.

Ring. Ring.

Kareem: Guys! That was 7Days calling to say we’ve won one hour in the best seats in the house with free drinks. We’ve got to leave right now.

Shelley: But what about Ali?

Kareem: He’ll be fine, he’s talking to Pocahontas.

Yet another random guy: Hey Superman.

Matt: God Damn it!

And a few pic’s from the next day…

View from the tallest building in the world, the Burj.

International School of Kuala Lumpur reunion

And a little video highlighting our Middle East Trip…

http://youtu.be/AajeVBRV98I

Shelley and John, volunteer travel reporters for “The Comox Valley Echo.”