Jeesh, I Don’t Want to Buy the Place

Dry Camping for $20, Puertotecito, Mexico

Dry Camping for $20, Puertotecito, Mexico

Estero Beach, Baja Mexico, $41, but after losing water and power, $25 plus a hotel   room

Estero Beach, Baja Mexico, $41, but after losing water and power, $25 plus a hotel

Shelley: Hola!

Tres Valle Wine Server: Hola! Hablas español?

Shelley: Un poquito.

Server: Bienvenido a Tres Valles. ¿Quieres probar un poco de vino?

Shelley: Maybe more porquito than that.

Server: You pay eight dollars to taste five different wines. If you buy, we take eight dollars off your bill.

Shelley: Bueno. Let’s do this. For one, please. Now what do we have here?

Server: This first wine is a Rose.

Shelley: Oh my goodness half a wine glass is very generous. Thank you. Let’s see. It’s very dry. Usually Rose’s are too sweet for my liking. I definitely do like this.

Server: This Rose can be served with fish, chicken. Even dessert.

Shelley: Definitely.

Server: Now Kojaá is Tres Valles’ signature wine.

Shelley: Ha! Ha! Ha! I can barely keep up with you. This should be called “Speed Wine Tasting.” Will you be with family this Christmas?

Server: My dad and brother will be here for Christmas day. How about you?

Shelley: This is the first time it’ll be just the two of us. I told our boys it’s only right that they spend alternate Christmas’s with their partners and their families, but I didn’t mean it.


Shelley: I’m kidding. We’ve been so busy we’ve barely thought about Christmas.

Ensenada, Baja, Mexico

Ensenada, Baja, Mexico

Natural hot springs, Puertocito, Baja, Mexico

Natural hot springs, Puertocito, Baja, Mexico

La Bufadora, Baja, Mexico

La Bufadora, Baja, Mexico

Just in case potty, Baja, Mexico

Just in case potty, San Felipe, Baja, Mexico

What’s next?

Server: A Maat. 

Shelley: Wow! Thank you for yet another healthy sample. Mmmmmmmm. It’s so smooth. Goes down like cream. My oh my does it ever taste amazing. Oaked, right?

Server: Sure is.

Shelley: John, it’s a shame you can’t drink wine. John can’t drink wine because he gets headaches from the tannins. It works out really well because I get to taste wine and he gets to drive me around the wineries. Don’t feel too badly for him as it’s not like he’s one hundred percent responsible for the driving. I constantly help out by pointing out when he should slow down or speed up. Now what deliciousness is in that bottle?

Server: This fourth bottle is a Kuwal. 

Shelley: Whoohee!!! This stuff is strong. 13.5%. No wonder it’s gone right to my head. I’m such a light weight. John, lucky for you. That means you’ll have more money to spend on my Christmas present. Hey! John, look at that. They have a guest book. Wow! People have come all the way from Mexico. Ha! Ha! Ha! Get it? I said, “Mexico” and we’re in Mexico. Wait! That writing’s different. John! Where do you think they’re from?

John: As it’s written in cyrillic, I’m guessing Russia.

Shelley: Exactly what I was thinking. Pass it back to me. Maybe I can figure out what they’ve written.

John: Oh, now you read Russian, dear?

Shelley: Yes. Yes. Shhhh I need to concentrate. Hmmmm… Hmmmm… Man oh man, this one’s stumping me. John, take our picture.

John: But I’m really interested in what those Russians wrote.

Shelley: Oh you! Smile.

IMG_9224Time for sample number five.

Server: This is an Alá.

Shelley: Yum. Yummmy! Yum. Yum. This is definitely my favourite. Yep. Without a doubt. Yum. This is the one. I’ll save it for my friend Robbie when he comes to visit us in the spring. He’ll be so impressed with this bottle of piss. Ha! Ha! Ha! That’s what Robbie calls wine. Piss. I think it’s because he likes Aussie wine and the Aussies call wine piss. How much is the Alá?

Server: Thirty-five.

Shelley: Thirty-five dollars? As in American dollars?

Server: Yes.

Shelley: For one bottle?

Server: Yes.

Shelley: I see. What about this one?

Server: Thirty.

Shelley: Jeesh, I don’t want to buy the place. This one?

Server: Twenty-five.

Shelley: Hmmm… And this one?

Server: Eighteen. But don’t forget, I take off eight dollars.

Shelley: Now there’s a deal. Sold. John, which Winery’s next?


Just in case toilet, Baja, Mexico

Shelley and John, “The Comox Valley Echo” volunteer reporters signing off from Ensenada, Baja, Mexico.


21 thoughts on “Jeesh, I Don’t Want to Buy the Place

  1. After all that wine, a margarita, too? 🙂 Love the just in case bano. Right off the beaten path. And I’m impressed… first you’ve improved with Mexico’s mother tongue and now you’re mastering Cyrillic! Seems there’s no stopping Linguista Shelley. 🙂

    But what the heck does that guy have on the counter in the Ensenada photo? A blow fish?


    • Eric, the margarita was the next day, Christmas. The wine is still wrapped. I’ve never paid that much for a bottle of wine, ever! Yeah, might have to work on my Russian. I forget what that fish was. He told me in Spanish. Pretty impressive size. Am off to try to catch up with your posts, but not hopeful. I am walking around a parking lot as I write.


  2. I looked for you as the ship headed up the a aha coast! Hahaha! Good thing you weren’t tasting wine on the ship yesterday, the ocean was not smooth as we headed up the Baja coast!


  3. Funny! I didn’t even know there were wineries in Mexico, but I am interested to see they share the same pricing strategy with the small wineries in the states! 😉 That was some large fish, and the sunset pic is gorgeous! Cheers, Lynne


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