Every Man Needs a Chop Saw

Recent Smith life recap:

Sell homes

Buy a home

Wait to take possession by

celebrating Ashly, our daughter-in-law’s, birthday with our son, Andrew,

running the Oceanside 10k on Mother’s Day,

playing frisbee golf (Me, my nephew, Dan, Ash, Andrew),

eagle watching,

observing sea lions lounging about,

planning gardens and

visiting Home Depot…

Home Depot Employee #1: Have you considered a front door with glass?

Shelley: I’m not sure if glass is the way to go in this climate.

John: Shelley!

Shelley: Excuse me for one second. What’s up?

John: Remember the chop saw I saw in Home Hardware?

Shelley: Yes?

John: I found the same one here but it’s a hundred dollars cheaper.

Shelley: I thought we agreed not to buy it.

John: We did, but this one’s a hundred dollars cheaper.

Shelley: I thought we agreed that we’d wait until we moved into our new house to see whether or not we need to replace the baseboards.

John: We did, but since that conversation I’ve made a list of other projects that need a chop saw.

Shelley: Of course you did.

John: For starters, we have to replace the deck.

Shelley: I’m pretty sure the builder said maybe a few boards.

John: For now, yes, but we need to plan for the future, and if I make a bean bag tossing game, I’ll need a saw to make the wooden target.

Shelley: Can’t we rent one from Home Depot?

Home Depot Employee #2: (Appears out of no where, yeah right) For twenty-four hours.

John: Exactly.

Shelley: And twenty-four hours is…

Home Depot Employee #2 and John: not nearly long enough to complete any real work.

Shelley: Can’t we borrow Shenley’s (my brother)?

Home Depot Employee #2: You borrow someone’s miter saw, eventually you’re going to break it.

John: Exactly what I was going to say. Shelley, you know that every time we borrow expensive things, we break them. Remember Shenley’s blow up kayaks, Julie’s sewing machine…?

Shelley: OK. OK. I give. Can you wait until Father’s Day?

Home Depot Employee #2: Sale won’t last forever.

John: Sale won’t last forever.

Shelley: You’re sure this is what you need?

John: Absolutely.

Shelley: I don’t know. It’s a lot of money.

Home Depot Employee #2: Did you tell her that Home Depot has a policy where not only will  they match their competitions’ prices, they’ll take an additional 10% off.

John: I did not. Thank you. Shelley, Home Depot has a policy where not only will  they match their competitions’ prices, they’ll take an additional 10% off.

Shelley: (Turns to Home Depot Employee #1) I think I’m being double teamed here. What do you think?

Home Depot Employee #1: I don’t think, I know that every man needs a chop saw.

Shelley and John