SMITH VS. SMITH

John and I returned to Vancouver Island at the end of April. Since that time, we’ve been gardening, planning a kitchen, spring cleaning, volunteering, you know, the things you do when you return to your home after three months, like writing a book, novelette, short story, poem, haiku. Here it is. Regret sleepless restless nights…

Little Girl’s wish comes True

Little girl walking past me in the Comox Valley: Why do I have to zip up my rain jacket? Little girl’s mommy: Because it’s raining. Little Girl: Why is it raining? Mommy: Because the clouds are full of water. Little Girl: They must be really full. Mommy: They sure are. Little Girl: I wish the sun would shine. Mommy,…

Jeesh, I Don’t Want to Buy the Place

Shelley: Hola! Tres Valle Wine Server: Hola! Hablas español? Shelley: Un poquito. Server: Bienvenido a Tres Valles. ¿Quieres probar un poco de vino? Shelley: Maybe more porquito than that. Server: You pay eight dollars to taste five different wines. If you buy, we take eight dollars off your bill. Shelley: Bueno. Let’s do this. For one, please. Now what do we have…

Canada has Turtles

While visiting Emma’s Year 1, *five year old’s) class at the KUWAIT ENGLISH SCHOOL) Shelley: Does anyone know what animals Canada has? Abdul: Dogs? John: Yes. Aliah: Cats?. Shelley: Definitely cats. Kuwait has loads of cats, doesn’t it? Class: Oh yes. John: Very good, but can you think of any animals Canada might have that Kuwait doesn’t?…

Dr. Jesus, She’s all Yours

Shelley: Hi Dr. Veronica. Dr. Veronica, our Algodones Dentist: Hello. Shelley: Do you remember me? Veronica: You? No. Him, yes. Shelley: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha! Honey, look at that, Veronica’s flirting with you. Seriously, you must remember me, yes? Veronica: No. Shelley: I sure hope you’re kidding because I’m already super stressed over today’s appointment. You do know why I’m here, right? Dr. Veronica:…

Want to See my Rack?

While staying at Gros Ventre Campground, Wyoming, located just south of Grand Teton National Park,  we were super stoked to find a bull and cow moose in our midst. Being mating season and all, we grabbed our camera, sat back and waited for the action. First hour, nothing happened. They barely twitched, didn’t even grunt at each…

Say G’day to Bruce, Bruce

  Matt: Let’s play a game that uses the characters’ names from the show, “Neighbours.” Here’s how you play. I say, “G’day Bruce” to the person next to me. That person replies, “G’day Bruce.” Then I say, “Say G’day to Bruce, Bruce” to the same person who, in turn, repeats the sequence with the next player. If a player makes a mistake, his…