Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff, It’s Valentine’s Day

As we were attempting to leave the Bull Head City valley…. Tatiana (Our GPS System): Turn around. Turn around, now. Shelley: Tatiana!!!! You’ve made us drive in circles for the last thirty minutes. What are you doing? How hard is it to get us out of Bull Head City, population… NOTHING???? Tatiana (Our GPS System): In thirty metres, take the next…

Daily Prompt: Sliced Bread is Nothing Compared to Retirement

Daily Prompt: Sliced Bread Most of us have heard the saying, “That’s the best thing since sliced bread!” What do you think is actually the best thing since sliced bread? Retirement, hands down, is actually the best thing since sliced bread. Being retired has  gives us the freedom to do whatever we want. John: Should we bike, run, hike,…

America F#$K Yeah!

Shelley: Holy S@#t!!! John: What? What? Shelley: I’m freezing! Turn on the f#$%ing heat! John: No. If we fall asleep with it on, we could die of propane poisoning Shelley: Or we could die of exposure. Jesus. John:  Put on another sweater. Shelley: I’m already fully clothed under these covers. J@#$% C@#$#$! Why, according to you, do we always have to die? F$%^#!…

Curse you Jet Lag!!!!

 11:59 PM… 12:00 AM… Shelley: Huh! Oh my God. John. John, are you awake? John: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…. Shelley: I just had a nightmare. And I checked my pulse. It’s really low. Shouldn’t my pulse be high if I had a nightmare? John: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…. Shelley: Why isn’t it high? Holy S@#$! It’s because I had wine for supper, then took a sleeping…

Get Your Knickers off

Shelley: Thanks for helping me make Shenley’s Birthday card. Pretty funny, right? John: Sure was. Shelley: Marina’s card was so romantic. Why don’t you give me cards like that? John: Because you would laugh at me. Shelley: That’s true. How sad is that? John, I don’t think we’re romantic. John: Of course we are. I bought you…