Little Girl’s wish comes True

Little girl walking past me in the Comox Valley: Why do I have to zip up my rain jacket? Little girl’s mommy: Because it’s raining. Little Girl: Why is it raining? Mommy: Because the clouds are full of water. Little Girl: They must be really full. Mommy: They sure are. Little Girl: I wish the sun would shine. Mommy,…

Every Man Needs a Chop Saw

Recent Smith life recap: Sell homes Buy a home Wait to take possession by visiting Home Depot… Home Depot Employee #1: Have you considered a front door with glass? Shelley: I’m not sure if glass is the way to go in this climate. John: Shelley! Shelley: Excuse me for one second. What’s up? John: Remember…

Welcome to America

  John: Imagine. A day and a half ago, that’s sixteen hours, we were camping on Santiago Bay. Shelley: Nursing your foot. John: God that hurt. Who knew one little sting ray could cause so much pain? It was like child birth. Shelley: Really? John and Shelley: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha! John: But because Mexican Notaries…

Los Cabos, Home of No Bad Days

Shelley: After 136 days on the road, we’ve finally arrived in Los Cabos. It’s everything the books say and more; temperatures in the high 20’s, warm blue azure waters gently lapping on blindingly white sandy beaches, dazzling blue skies and soft breezes. Everyone’s happy, thankful they are escaping winter. John: Thank you Miss Tour Guide of the Year. Shelley: Ha! Ha!…

My Name is Comox Valley and I’m From Shelley

Shelley: Can you believe how that guy from two sites down spoke to his wife? I would have punted him into the sea. And Chris from California? When he said, “I can tell you where the best beaches are on the Baja, but I’ll have to kill you.” Even after twenty minutes of listening to…

Jeesh, I Don’t Want to Buy the Place

Shelley: Hola! Tres Valle Wine Server: Hola! Hablas español? Shelley: Un poquito. Server: Bienvenido a Tres Valles. ¿Quieres probar un poco de vino? Shelley: Maybe more porquito than that. Server: You pay eight dollars to taste five different wines. If you buy, we take eight dollars off your bill. Shelley: Bueno. Let’s do this. For one, please. Now what do we have…

How to Spot a Russian Hooker

During the 2014 Dubai Sevens weekend… Kareem: Do you know if a woman says she’s a real estate agent and if her dress is exactly 1 to 1.73 inches below the crotch, she’s a Russian Hooker. Ali: Exactly? Kareem: Yes. Yes. Exactly. Very important. Shelley: Emma! These people want to meet you. They’re from Scotland too. Maybe you know them. Kareem:…

Canada has Turtles

While visiting Emma’s Year 1, *five year old’s) class at the KUWAIT ENGLISH SCHOOL) Shelley: Does anyone know what animals Canada has? Abdul: Dogs? John: Yes. Aliah: Cats?. Shelley: Definitely cats. Kuwait has loads of cats, doesn’t it? Class: Oh yes. John: Very good, but can you think of any animals Canada might have that Kuwait doesn’t?…

Dr. Jesus, She’s all Yours

Shelley: Hi Dr. Veronica. Dr. Veronica, our Algodones Dentist: Hello. Shelley: Do you remember me? Veronica: You? No. Him, yes. Shelley: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha! Honey, look at that, Veronica’s flirting with you. Seriously, you must remember me, yes? Veronica: No. Shelley: I sure hope you’re kidding because I’m already super stressed over today’s appointment. You do know why I’m here, right? Dr. Veronica:…