Oh No She Didn’t

In order to visit “The Wave” in Utah, you must enter a lottery. Ten people, per day, are allowed to hike the area. John and I dutifully filled in our form, sat down with the hundred or so other hopefuls and were not selected. We decided not to try again because, well because, we were afraid the…

NyQuil is not the Answer

Bryce Canyon National Park, Utah Shelley: (Flip. Flop….. Flip…… Flop. Flip……… Flop. Flip. Flop. Flip. Flop…Flip. Flop…Flip. Flip. Flip. Flip………… Flop. ) John: Jesus Christ Shelley! It’s two o’clock in the morning. Go to sleep. Shelley: Trust me, the last thing I want to do is lie in bed flip flopping all night long. Oh my God, I’m so tired. Why can’t…

Don’t Judge me by my Hair Colour or Else

While on the free Zion National Park Shuttle bus… Shelley: Hi there. Nice young man: Have you been enjoying your visit? Shelley: We sure have. Nice young man: Where’ve you been so far? Shelley: Kolob Canyon, the Riverside Walk, Weeping Rock and the Emerald Pools, although, to be honest, I wasn’t all that impressed with the pools, but…

Say G’day to Bruce, Bruce

  Matt: Let’s play a game that uses the characters’ names from the show, “Neighbours.” Here’s how you play. I say, “G’day Bruce” to the person next to me. That person replies, “G’day Bruce.” Then I say, “Say G’day to Bruce, Bruce” to the same person who, in turn, repeats the sequence with the next player. If a player makes a mistake, his…

Love and Marriage

This summer, my husband John and I finally met Matt’s love of his life, Emma. We immediately fell in love with this charming bubbly Scottish lass. How could we not? We were thrilled when they announced their engagement. John and I are not the least bit worried about their future as a married couple. They’ll be fine. Shelley:…

Just be You, UNLESS UR A D#$%HEAD

Why my brother, Spencer, gave me an iPhone… Spencer: What happened to your phone? Shelley: I dropped it while making the Habitat video. It was less than a week old too. Sigh. Spencer: Why don’t you get a new screen? Shelley: Because replacing the screen costs as much as a new phone. I’m going to wait to…

I May Vomit

What Shelley Thinks: Happy thoughts. She’s making a sale. What Shelley Says: Sooo… $175 for the desk, take away $19 for the returned handles, plus $8.50 for the paint brush, add your 12% tax and that comes to $184.24. Customer:… What Shelley Thinks: Same as above. What Shelley Says: Bring Cash, what BC stands for, right?…

Dude

John: OK, we’ll meet you at the rugby pitch before 10. Andrew: Sounds good. See you tomorrow. Shelley: Wait! Andrew! This is your mom. Andrew: Hello mother. Shelley: Stop saying, “Hello mother.” I know it’s a line straight out of “Psycho.” I also know that Norman kills his mother in that movie. Andrew: And your…

Hey Lance Let’s See What you can do on a Mountain Bike, HUH!

0 miles…. Shelley: John! I loved our hike behind Bullhead City (Arizona) yesterday, but hiking takes so long compared to biking. Biking is definitely the way to go. 1 mile… Shelley: John! Isn’t this perfect? The sun’s shining. It’s 18 degrees. There’s no wind. We’re biking on a gentle undulating paved bike path along the side of Lake Mead, Nevada. Perfect.  1.5…