Who are You? You’re not my Sister

My sister, Shannon, joined John and I for a tour of “The Utah Five.” Shannon: Capital Reef, the last of the Utah Five. Incredible. I wasn’t optimistic that this park would offer more than the others. So happy to be proved wrong. Thank you guys for this amazing experience. Shelley: You’re welcome sistah. Shannon:  What? What? This up up is killing me. The…

Security!

Since our last post, John and I visited the “World Heritage Site Pinacate Biosphere Reserve, Mexico”, returned to Organ Pipe National Monument, where we camped in the “no generator” area, attended every Park talk and tour available, and are now back in the Coachella Valley (Palm Springs area) waiting for the PNB PARIBAS OPEN Tennis tournament…

I can still F#$king see you Minimi

As the final credit’s roll from the movie, “Whiplash”… Shelley, retired teacher with over 30 years experience:……. John, retired teacher and athletic director with over 32 years experience:….. Andrew, student teacher nearing the end of his latest teaching practicum:… Finally… Shelley: Wow. John: What a terrible, terrible teacher. What a terrible, terrible human being. Andrew: Real teachers would never…

You tell Her

Ring! Ring! John: Here we go. Shelley: John, you tell her that we’ve only had Priscilla (Our Tom Tom, GPS device) for less than a year before she died on us. Ring! Ring! Shelley: You tell her that despite us being incredibly careful with the cord, she refuses to charge. Ring! Ring! Tom Tom Services: Hello. Welcome to Tom Tom GPS…

This Tastes like Moose Poo Mmmmm but Good

Shelley: I have a joke. As any astute comedian would do, I’ve adapted it to my audience. It’s really funny. Ha! Ha! Ha! Once upon a time there were these four friends who went on a camping trip. Actually a Galamping trip. Robbie, Galamping means “Glamour Camping.” Like us. Ha! Ha! Their names were: Robbie, Toni, Shelley and John.…

Welcome to America

  John: Imagine. A day and a half ago, that’s sixteen hours, we were camping on Santiago Bay. Shelley: Nursing your foot. John: God that hurt. Who knew one little sting ray could cause so much pain? It was like child birth. Shelley: Really? John and Shelley: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha! John: But because Mexican Notaries…

Sorry

John and Shelley: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!  Look at us. We’re surfing! Shelley: Take that Bali surfer dude who ditched us half way through our surf lesson. John: Yeah! Take that! Shelley: Da da da da daaaaa daaaa da da da da daaaaa! Come on John. Hawaii Five O. Shelley and John: Da da da da daaaaa daaaa…

What to do if a Shark Attacks

  Shelley: Do you think we’re far enough from shore to see a humpback? John: I should think so. We’ve paddled for about fourty-five minutes straight out. Shelley: I though yesterday’s trip to Cabo Pulma was pretty much a bust as far as kayaking and snorkelling goes but watching the shark fishermen sort out their catch made up for it. Agree? John: Agree.…

Amigo, Maybe You’d Like to try my Homemade Salsa?

Doug: Hey John. Let’s see who can eat an entire mini chilli pepper first. Chomp! John: (Slow motion) Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttttttttt arrrrrrrrrrrrrre yooouuuuuuuuuuu dooooooinnnnngggggg????? Doug: (Fast motion) Chomp! Shelley: (Slow motion) Thooooose small ones are suuuuuuuuuper hawwwwwwwwwwwtttttttttt!!!! Wayyyyy hawwwwwwterrr thannn the big onesssss! Doug: (Fast motion) Chomp! Karen (Doug’s wife: (Also slow motion) Thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttt’sssss naaawwwwwwwtt a gooooooooood ideeeeeeeeaaaaaahhh! Shelley, John, Karen: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!! Doug: (Fast…