Security!

Since our last post, John and I visited the “World Heritage Site Pinacate Biosphere Reserve, Mexico”, returned to Organ Pipe National Monument, where we camped in the “no generator” area, attended every Park talk and tour available, and are now back in the Coachella Valley (Palm Springs area) waiting for the PNB PARIBAS OPEN Tennis tournament…

You tell Her

Ring! Ring! John: Here we go. Shelley: John, you tell her that we’ve only had Priscilla (Our Tom Tom, GPS device) for less than a year before she died on us. Ring! Ring! Shelley: You tell her that despite us being incredibly careful with the cord, she refuses to charge. Ring! Ring! Tom Tom Services: Hello. Welcome to Tom Tom GPS…

This Tastes like Moose Poo Mmmmm but Good

Shelley: I have a joke. As any astute comedian would do, I’ve adapted it to my audience. It’s really funny. Ha! Ha! Ha! Once upon a time there were these four friends who went on a camping trip. Actually a Galamping trip. Robbie, Galamping means “Glamour Camping.” Like us. Ha! Ha! Their names were: Robbie, Toni, Shelley and John.…

Sorry

John and Shelley: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!  Look at us. We’re surfing! Shelley: Take that Bali surfer dude who ditched us half way through our surf lesson. John: Yeah! Take that! Shelley: Da da da da daaaaa daaaa da da da da daaaaa! Come on John. Hawaii Five O. Shelley and John: Da da da da daaaaa daaaa…

Macho Macho Man

Tuesday Dec.16, 2014, Federales Check point on Highway #5, Mexico… John: The Federale wants to search the RV. I have to go with him. Shelley: Don’t talk unless he asks you a question. Don’t offer information. And don’t make him mad. He’s holding a machine gun  with his finger on the trigger. John: Relax. I know what to say. Shelley: Maybe we should practice…

Dr. Jesus, She’s all Yours

Shelley: Hi Dr. Veronica. Dr. Veronica, our Algodones Dentist: Hello. Shelley: Do you remember me? Veronica: You? No. Him, yes. Shelley: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha! Honey, look at that, Veronica’s flirting with you. Seriously, you must remember me, yes? Veronica: No. Shelley: I sure hope you’re kidding because I’m already super stressed over today’s appointment. You do know why I’m here, right? Dr. Veronica:…

I Can’t Make any Promises but…

We interrupt “The Smith 2014-15 Tour” for a week back in Canada to pack up our townhouse. That’s right people, the townhouse has been sold! Day 1, 5:00 A.M… Ratchet. Ratchet. Ratchet. Thunk! Ratchet. Ratchet. Ratchet. Thunk! Shelley: Mmmmphhhh! Hey! John! What are you doing? John: Taking apart the bed. We pick up the U-Haul at 9:00. Shelley: But I was sleeping in…

NyQuil is not the Answer

Bryce Canyon National Park, Utah Shelley: (Flip. Flop….. Flip…… Flop. Flip……… Flop. Flip. Flop. Flip. Flop…Flip. Flop…Flip. Flip. Flip. Flip………… Flop. ) John: Jesus Christ Shelley! It’s two o’clock in the morning. Go to sleep. Shelley: Trust me, the last thing I want to do is lie in bed flip flopping all night long. Oh my God, I’m so tired. Why can’t…

Don’t Judge me by my Hair Colour or Else

While on the free Zion National Park Shuttle bus… Shelley: Hi there. Nice young man: Have you been enjoying your visit? Shelley: We sure have. Nice young man: Where’ve you been so far? Shelley: Kolob Canyon, the Riverside Walk, Weeping Rock and the Emerald Pools, although, to be honest, I wasn’t all that impressed with the pools, but…