Sometimes Life’s like That

Every year we head to Arizona. Andrew, our son, joined us for a few days. After Andrew left, our friend Robbie and his son, Tod arrived. Tod: That was my first live NBA game ever. Thanks. Shelley: You’re welcome. Here’s what’s happening for the rest of your “Smiths on Tour” experience. Golf tomorrow. Followed by a visit with our…

You tell Her

Ring! Ring! John: Here we go. Shelley: John, you tell her that we’ve only had Priscilla (Our Tom Tom, GPS device) for less than a year before she died on us. Ring! Ring! Shelley: You tell her that despite us being incredibly careful with the cord, she refuses to charge. Ring! Ring! Tom Tom Services: Hello. Welcome to Tom Tom GPS…

This Tastes like Moose Poo Mmmmm but Good

Shelley: I have a joke. As any astute comedian would do, I’ve adapted it to my audience. It’s really funny. Ha! Ha! Ha! Once upon a time there were these four friends who went on a camping trip. Actually a Galamping trip. Robbie, Galamping means “Glamour Camping.” Like us. Ha! Ha! Their names were: Robbie, Toni, Shelley and John.…

Jeesh, I Don’t Want to Buy the Place

Shelley: Hola! Tres Valle Wine Server: Hola! Hablas español? Shelley: Un poquito. Server: Bienvenido a Tres Valles. ¿Quieres probar un poco de vino? Shelley: Maybe more porquito than that. Server: You pay eight dollars to taste five different wines. If you buy, we take eight dollars off your bill. Shelley: Bueno. Let’s do this. For one, please. Now what do we have…

Macho Macho Man

Tuesday Dec.16, 2014, Federales Check point on Highway #5, Mexico… John: The Federale wants to search the RV. I have to go with him. Shelley: Don’t talk unless he asks you a question. Don’t offer information. And don’t make him mad. He’s holding a machine gun  with his finger on the trigger. John: Relax. I know what to say. Shelley: Maybe we should practice…

How to Spot a Russian Hooker

During the 2014 Dubai Sevens weekend… Kareem: Do you know if a woman says she’s a real estate agent and if her dress is exactly 1 to 1.73 inches below the crotch, she’s a Russian Hooker. Ali: Exactly? Kareem: Yes. Yes. Exactly. Very important. Shelley: Emma! These people want to meet you. They’re from Scotland too. Maybe you know them. Kareem:…

Canada has Turtles

While visiting Emma’s Year 1, *five year old’s) class at the KUWAIT ENGLISH SCHOOL) Shelley: Does anyone know what animals Canada has? Abdul: Dogs? John: Yes. Aliah: Cats?. Shelley: Definitely cats. Kuwait has loads of cats, doesn’t it? Class: Oh yes. John: Very good, but can you think of any animals Canada might have that Kuwait doesn’t?…

Oh No She Didn’t

In order to visit “The Wave” in Utah, you must enter a lottery. Ten people, per day, are allowed to hike the area. John and I dutifully filled in our form, sat down with the hundred or so other hopefuls and were not selected. We decided not to try again because, well because, we were afraid the…

Don’t Judge me by my Hair Colour or Else

While on the free Zion National Park Shuttle bus… Shelley: Hi there. Nice young man: Have you been enjoying your visit? Shelley: We sure have. Nice young man: Where’ve you been so far? Shelley: Kolob Canyon, the Riverside Walk, Weeping Rock and the Emerald Pools, although, to be honest, I wasn’t all that impressed with the pools, but…

Want to See my Rack?

While staying at Gros Ventre Campground, Wyoming, located just south of Grand Teton National Park,  we were super stoked to find a bull and cow moose in our midst. Being mating season and all, we grabbed our camera, sat back and waited for the action. First hour, nothing happened. They barely twitched, didn’t even grunt at each…