Summer 2012…
John: Argghhhhh!!!!! Shelley! Look at the deck! The “The Guaranteed to Last Stain” is peeling off for the second year in a row. What are we going to do?
This spring…
Shelley: Not again? Curse you, you crummy, no good for nothing, useless “New and Improved Guaranteed to Last” stain. Happy freakin’ Ground Hog Day!
As the well meaning advice begins to pour in, yet again, starting with my female neighbour on our right,
“Why don’t you throw a rattan area rug over it?” and from a good buddy,
“I’ve been thinking, you need to start all over again, strip and prime with just an oil.”
I decided I might as well repost last year’s blog. Apologies to those who have already read this. But on the other hand, imagine how we feel…
Shelley: That’s it. I’m so done with that stupid deck. Let’s put ceramic tiles on it, like Shannon (sister) did.
Dad: Jeez. That’s too bad. Maybe you’ll have to restain the whole thing.
Mom: No. Just paint where it’s flaking off.
Clerk #1: Not a clue. Sorry, can’t help you.
Shenley (brother): Hmmm…. while I think about it, know that you can use my belt sander, my hand sander, my high pressure water hose, my work horses, my electric drill, my battery drill…
Clerk #2: Vancouver Island BC weather on wooden decks. Sucks eh?
Mom: Cover it with an indoor outdoor carpet.
Clerk #3: A sander should do it. But, not the industrial belt sander. The nails will rip the belt and that will cost you to replace. What you need is an oscillating sander. We don’t have those.
Clerk #4: Sorry, all out of oscillating sanders. Deck season.
Mom: Outdoor rubber flooring.
Clerk #5: Do not use a sander. It will take off the treated layer and then you’ll have prime it.
Dan (Nephew): I built most of that deck. By the way, I don’t think I was paid enough.
Tyler( Dan’s brother): You were paid!?!?! Why didn’t anyone ask me to help? I would have helped.
Clerk #6: Try a high pressure water hose.
Customer in Clerk #6″s store: Buy stain stripper, a brush and use a water pressure hose to remove what’s left. Then paint it with BEHR SOLID COLOUR WOOD STAIN. You’ll be good for years.
Mom: Outdoor flooring.
Clerk #7: Whatever you do, do not use a high pressure water hose. It will gouge the wood.
Elderly neighbour who lives on our left: When you do something, you should do it right the first time. Why back in my day…
Clerk #9: With treated wood, there’s no need to prime it. Ever.
Woman walking her dog that sometimes doo doos in our yard: Should have used composite flooring.
Marina (Sister-in-law): We used the “lifetime guaranteed not to rot composite flooring.” The wood underneath is probably rotting as we speak.
Deck Builder: Flip the boards.
4 year old neighbour who lives 2 doors down: Those light brown spots don’t look good.
Andrew (son): Looks good enough for a nap. What’d you do?
John: Oh my God. We tried everything, but sanding and painting only the chipped areas was the only thing that worked.
Mom: What did I tell you?
Shelley and John
Honey Did you See That? 
The beautiful Kent area of Seattle has the same kind of problem with crappy weather. Go figure, huh? I finally stained my cedar deck this year and I’m hoping it lasts longer than one summer season (and the other three seasons of rain). I guess we’ll see next summer, right? On the plus side, I decided to use Trex style decking on the new front porch and that looks awesome! Maybe I should blog about it…some nifty DIY porch blog. Have a great summer!
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Thanks! Is Trex style decking a stain, or the actual decking? I ended up sanding and painting the spots. The sun is out. Should be great for at least a couple of months.
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Trex is that plastic decking. I thought everyone called it Trex. It’s at all the home improvement stores here so maybe they refer to it as something else. It’s a composite plastic decking. Comes in all colors. I was going to change out the cedar on my back deck but it was a $1000 just for the decking plus a lot of work. I’m too lazy to work hard on a deck I use for six weeks a year.
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Got it. The key phrase “six weeks a year.” I think we have the same weather pattern. Ugh!
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With you sitting on that deck, Shelly, who wouldl ever see the spots… relax.
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Ahhh! Thanks Ted. Sanded, washed, swept and one coat on… Grrrrr!
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nothing came through?
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Definitely paint only the areas that need it! Remember that free advice is worth exactly what you pay for it.
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Yep, Sanded, first coat on. Should have tiled it Like Shannon did!
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I was having bad flash backs when reading your post. I had the same experience, year after freakin year after flippin year. I mean seriously, can’t they make a one time stain that last forever? My husband asked me one day if I really liked that huge, monsterous deck and I replied that I hated it, it was so much work and as soon as I can enjoy it, it’s time to stain it again. He brought up an idea that he had and I relished that idea.
We tore out the deck, and poured concrete….love it, no more stain.
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You are so smart! At some point, we will do the same. I actually wanted a sun room as to be honest, we only have a couple of months of nice weather any way!
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Could try painting the spots a different colour for a more creative effect, just saying………
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From the mother of an artist!!! 🙂
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I feel your pain!!! We have to do our front porch every year!! Never ends! We turned our back deck into a three season porch with tiles – so at least we don’t have to do that deck anymore!! 🙂
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That’s exactly what I want to do. And then we’re done!!! Will pass this on to John. Not sure if he can survive another tile round though! 🙂
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Guess what? I have some advice! If it fails again next year…sand, and stain with Sikken’s out door deck stain and sealer. It’s expensive but it lasts longer than anything else I have used…Stick that in your pipe and smoke it Mr. Neighbor-why-back-in-my-day-we-did-things-right-the-first-time.
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Why thank you. I have actually sent that on to my husband with this note, “Save. Hopefully it won’t come to this.” as for next door neighbour, he doesn’t even have a deck. So, what does he know??? 🙂
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Typical old guy!
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Right? 🙂
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