Who are You? You’re not my Sister

My sister, Shannon, and husband, John

My sister, Shannon, and husband, John

My sister, Shannon, joined John and I for a tour of “The Utah Five.”

Zion National Park, Utah

Zion National Park, Utah

Bryce Canyon, Utah

Bryce Canyon, Utah

Me, John and Shannon, Bryce Canyon, Utah

Me, John and Shannon, Bryce Canyon, Utah

#3 Delicate Arc, Arches National Park

#3 Delicate Arc, Arches National Park

Delicate Arch, Arches National Park, Utah

Delicate Arch, Arches National Park, Utah

Canyon Lands, Utah

Canyon Lands, Utah

Capital Reef, Utah Can you see John on the bottom right?

Capital Reef, Utah Can you see John on the bottom right?

Shannon: Capital Reef, the last of the Utah Five. Incredible. I wasn’t optimistic that this park would offer more than the others. So happy to be proved wrong. Thank you guys for this amazing experience.

Shelley: You’re welcome sistah.

Shannon:  What? What? This up up is killing me. The sign said, “A gentle mile and a half to an amazing view.” Oh yeah, right. I wouldn’t mind so much, but I see a road down there, so I ask, “Why am I hiking straight up when I could have taken the truck?”

Shelley: You sound like Toni. (My BFF who hiked Nepal with us) We’re almost there.

Shannon: Are we? Are we? Or are you just saying that to me so I won’t turn around?

Shelley: (Whispers to John) No idea. (Normal voice) Honest to God. Cross my heart. Look! There’s the top.

Shannon: Hang on. I’m going to ask those two hikers heading towards us. Hi there. Are we close?

Hikers: Wellllll.

Shelley: (Stage whispers) Help me out here. Say, “Soooo close, you can almost touch the top.”

Hikers: “Sooo close you can almost touch the top.”

Shelley: See. Here, give me your pack.

Shannon: Don’t worry. I’m going to complete this hike even if I’m not enjoying it. It’s like when I read a book, no matter how awful it is, I finish it. In fact, I like to finish everything I start. I told you that already. Which leads me to this question,

“Why, while listening to NPR, in the middle of a show, do you turn off the radio? I’m so confused. Is the show over? Is this a podcast? Will I ever hear the end? It makes me anxious.

Shelley: I like to discuss issues.

Shannon: Before its over? Couldn’t we discuss issues after we listen to the entire episode?

Shelley: Not possible. I might forget what I had to say. It’s not really my fault. I blame menopause.

Shannon: Ok. Ok. I think I get that? But that doesn’t explain why you turned off the program about the Chinese family who went back to China to visit the matriach of the family. When you turned that off, there wasn’t a discussion.

Shelley: (Patiently) Because, Shannon, the grandma was dying and the entire family pretended to gather for a wedding, when in fact, it was to see her before she passed. That upset me, made me cry while I was driving. How in the world am I supposed to drive a truck pulling a 28 foot fifth wheel safely while sobbing? I couldn’t see a thing. Jeesh.

Shannon: John?

John: I gave up long ago.

Shelley: Hey! We’re here. John stand here and Shannon…

Shannon: What are you two doing? You’re too close. Get away from the edge.

Shelley: Ha! Ha! Ha!

Shannon: I mean it. All week you two crazies have been scaring me half to death.

Captial Reef, Utah

Captial Reef, Utah

Shelley: Come on Shannon. We’re safe. This will be an amazing picture.

Shannon: No. Absolutely not. Look at those edges. They can crumble any moment.

Shelley: Is that a hard “no” or a soft “no?”

Shannon: Hard. Get down from there.

Shelley: Where’s my badass sister gone? The daredevil who never backed down from any challenge. Who always went first. Without hesitation. The sister who sniffed imperiously at the first ledge at Schuwap Lake, refused to acknowledge the second ledge, stalked to the third and without pause, leapt, not stepped, off the cliff, swam back to the houseboat, cracked open a beer, fired up a cigarette, then hurled abuse at me.

“Jump Shelley!”

“Come on chicken s#$t!”

“What a f#$%ing wimp!”

“It’s the first one for C@#$t’s sake.”

“Everyone’s jumped but you, even the kids.”

And if that wasn’t bad enough, when other boaters motored up to check out what all the yelling was about, you encouraged them to join in the mockery. And they did.

Who are you? What have you done to the sister I know and love?

Shannon: I had children.

Shelley: So did I. Come on. Get up here and check out the view. I promise you you’ll be safe.

Shannon: Fine. J#$@s Ch$%^t! An amazing view my ass. What a F@#$ing waste of effort.

John: Smile.

Capital Reef, Utah

Capital Reef, Utah

Shannon: There. We’re out of here. A cold beer’s waiting for me. All 2.5% alcohol.

John and Shannon

John and Shannon

Shelley: There she is.

Shelley and John

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29 thoughts on “Who are You? You’re not my Sister

  1. I love this, Shelley! We did a hike last week in Smoky Mountain park that was described as a ‘moderate’ 2.7 mile hike to a waterfall. OMG, it was 2.7 miles straight UP! But we finished dammit!

    Glad you found your missing sister in the end, and the photos are fabulous!
    We will get to Utah one day…I swear!

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    • Yeah! Good for you. Hope you celebrated with a beer or two too. One day we’ll return to the Smoky Mountain area. But for now homeward bound. There were so many bikers on the roads in the parks. Biker heaven?

      Liked by 1 person

      • Lol, a small glass of wine, a shower, and bed after that hike! Well, let me know when you head back this way, would be funvto meet up with you somewhere. 🙂 Oh yes, Utah is adored by motorcycle people…we have touched Four corners on a previous motorcycle trip, but that is it so far. Must do one day!

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      • Ahhh four corners. Next year on the way back from Mexico maybe? We definitely need to meet up some day. Even if we just trail behind your bikes in our truck. I’ll carry the wine.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yes, we will make it happen and carrying the wine was an issue with just the bikes, but now the coach has plenty of room! 😀 And I saw your comment about running out of room for your pics, it is a fear of mine too. Do you have to go to WP premium to get more space?

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  2. Biased perhaps yet I believe this to be some of the most majestic part of the lower 48. Thanks for great photos. And of course, the accompanying narrative. If the prospect of a cold beer at the end sufficiently enticed her maybe you should have fill a camel back for the hike. Where to next?

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  3. It looks like everyone had a fantastic time. I’m glad you got some quality time with your sister.
    OMG… those pictures are breathtaking Shelley! And that arch — I never realized how gigantic it is until seeing you all with it for perspective. Loved this post. Huge hugs!

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    • It was great fun. Shannon is already planning her return visit. She says she only stayed 8 days and John’s limit is 9 (no idea where he got that number from) so next year she’s back for 10 with her husband. Glad you liked the pics. I’m at the limit of pics so had to leave some other shots out. Guess I’m going to have to upgrade. 🙂

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  4. OMG, that was hysterical! I could hear me in Shannon with the hiking up a steep hill! I really need to get back to those parks in Utah, always so breathtaking. Hmmmm, no Wave?
    And, for the record Shelley, I’d of jumped off the cliff into the water & swam to the houseboat!

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  5. Nice meeting Shannon. All I can say is that she is a brave woman to go on a trip with you two… especially one that involves heights. Fabulous Fotos! Thanks for the scenic views.

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    • She’s a trip. No pun intended. 🙂 It was pretty funny. Especially when it’s John who’s usually the one who freaks out over heights. I had so many photos but am at the end of my limit so spent too much time deleting old pics. Ak.

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  6. Stunning pictures! Looks like you had an amazing time. I’m not sure I would have been able to jump! I guess I’m a little chicken…bwok bwok! Another great adventure and to share it with a sister is even more special! 🙂

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