SMITH VS. SMITH

John and I returned to Vancouver Island at the end of April. Since that time, we’ve been gardening, planning a kitchen, spring cleaning, volunteering, you know, the things you do when you return to your home after three months, like writing a book, novelette, short story, poem, haiku. Here it is. Regret sleepless restless nights…

Spenglish

Shelley: I’m so short. Everyone else in our family is taller than me. I had to be adopted. Spencer: Yes you were, Burning Sage. Shelley: Burning Sage? What? Why? Spencer: Sit down and listen well Burning Sage. A long long time ago, when you were a new born baby, we found you in a basket on our…

Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bannnnggggggggg!

My brother, Shenley: How’d the bathroom renos go? John: Awful. We missed your help. Trust me, I would rather have spent the entire day at Kin Beach. Shenley: Couldn’t have been that bad. John: Oh it was. Trust me. Flashback to the morning… Bang! Bang! Bang! BANG!!! John: Arghhhhhhh! G#$ Damn it! The nail keeps bending when I hammer…

Still Married

The tiling has begun. John and I are tiling the bathrooms at our duplex. My intention was to write a post detailing this experience, but honestly, little has changed since our previous tiling escapade. Tiling remains just as frustrating. So, I am throwing out last summer’s post for you to read. Enjoy! “Installing kitchen tiles shouldn’t take…

ARE YOU TOUGH ENOUGH?

“The Kusam Klimb is a wild and rugged 23 km loop heading up and over Mount H’Kusam and down the Stowe Creek watershed. Starting at sea level, participants pass through some of the most spectacular scenery on Vancouver Island with views of mountain peaks and the Johnstone Strait as they negotiate their way over the…

Open Letter to Habitat for Humanity

Dear Habitat for Humanity, Hello. My name is Shelley Smith. Since September 2012, my husband, John and I have volunteered for Habitat. The purpose of this letter is to share my thoughts and feelings on June 14th’s Habitat for Humanity Vancouver Island North Piercy Build Dedication Ceremony and to offer my thanks to Habitat for creating the opportunity for us to participate in this worthwhile cause. Prior to…

What Other Products do you Have That are Super Expensive?

Heather: John, you can lie down on this bed. There you go. Tuck this pillow behind your head. Comfortable? John: Yes. Heather: Good. Good. Let’s see how your teeth match up. Hmmm… You’re teeth are at level 12. I’m positive we can get you to at least level 8. First thing we do is insert the retractor……

NAMASTE MTHRFCKR

My brother, Shenley: And your boat orientation is officially over. If you drop me off at the wharf, you can pick up mom and dad. Anything goes wrong, call me. Bye! John and Shelley: Thanks Shenley. Bye. Mom and dad: Permission to come aboard, Captain John? Captain John: Permission granted. John: How about some lunch? Shelley:…

And if She Doesn’t Kill you, she’s Going to cut off Your…

So much has happened this past week, like… and… a belated family gathering in Comox Valley for Mother’s Day and my dad’s birthday, where we played, “The Seventh Annual Roy Golf Classic” Keith, my brother-in-law: You’re up Shenley. My brother, Shenley: Oh no! Somehow I’ve ended up with Marina’s (Shenley’s wife) seven iron. She’s going to wonder where…

I’ve Got a Job! I’ve Got a Job! I’m a Part Time Part-timer!

Shelley: Hi Brenda, I saw your sign, “Part time position available.” Brenda, owner of Abbeylane: Hey Shelley. I did think of you, but you’re so busy in the summer with visitors, road races, company, fishing, etc. etc. and you go away in the winter, I decided it wouldn’t work. Shelley: That’s why I want to be…