Spenglish

IMG_5531

My youngest brother, Spencer

My youngest brother, Spencer

Feeding Whiskey Jacks on Mt. Washington

Feeding Whiskey Jacks on Mt. Washington

Shelley: I’m so short. Everyone else in our family is taller than me. I had to be adopted.

Spencer: Yes you were, Burning Sage.

Shelley: Burning Sage? What? Why?

Spencer: Sit down and listen well Burning Sage. A long long time ago, when you were a new born baby, we found you in a basket on our steps. We took you in. That night we burned sage seeking guidance. And that, little one, is how you came to be “Burning Sage.”

Shelley: But…

Spencer: Not now, Burning Sage, later. Now it’s time for “Best in Show” IMG_5471 Spencer: Welcome everyone to the finals of “Best in Show.” Only two dogs left. The noble classic setter and a sorry excuse for a dog, miniature poodle. Note how both prance around with their heads, tails and noses up. It’s going to be down to the wire as both dogs are currently tied for first place. Get ready for the last challenge, the

“Sit” Challenge.

For those viewers unfamiliar with the “Sit” challenge, the trainers issue the nonverbal command, “Sit” to their dogs. Judges time how long it takes the dogs to assume the sitting position. The suspense. Oh the suspense. The air is crackling. Wait. Wait a minute!!!! What’s this? The judges are standing waving their arms. Looks like there seems to be a delay. Not sure why.

Not a problem. We’ll leave this riveting competition to give you an update on Cricket; the game, no one but the English can understand.

Amazon

Amazon

The game where, no one, including the players, can figure out who plays for who, because everyone is dressed in white. The game that never ends until all the players die of boredom or go home for a spot of tea. Luckily for us, there’s action on the field. The pitcher sprints, windmills his arm, releases the hard as a rock ball at the batter.

The batter smacks that sucker high in the air. The batter runs with his bat towards another player, who, is also running with his bat. Why? Who knows. The outfielder attempts to catch the ball. Boy, is he ever going to regret leaving his glove at home. It’s going to hurt.

Really hurt.

The rest of the outfield is not concerned. In fact, they are hunting for potatoes because they are still hungry from the potato famine. The players who are carrying the bats seem confused as they run 30 feet, turn around and run back to where they started. They are doing this again and again and again and again.

Might as well return to “Best in Show” as it looks like this could go on for days, weeks, years.

Oh no. There’s a problem. The setter is refusing to sit. That’s going to cost him the championship. I’ve never seen anything like this before. It’s a travergisty!

en.wikipedia.org

en.wikipedia.org

Everyone: A what?

Spencer: Travergisity?

Everyone: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Jenny, my sister-in-law: Do you mean travesty?

Spencer with my sister-in-law,  Jenny

Spencer with my sister-in-law, Jenny

Spencer: Yes?

Jenny: Watch out everyone, Spencer’s speaking Spenglish.

Spencer: I can’t help it. When I go into meetings I warn everyone that I talk really fast and make up words like “Contravsity.”

Jenny: Catastrophe.

Spencer: And “Tomorning.”

Jenny: Tomorrow morning.

Spencer: And “Conchierge.”

Jenny: Concierge.

Everyone: Do people have problems understanding you?

Spencer: Yes. But I bet everyone understands this.

PARCOUR!!!! Fotor071392339 And if you haven’t had enough of Spencer and the rest of our family, check out Spencer, Jenny, nieces, Taylor and Mia’s ten day visit.

Shelley and John IMG_5714 IMG_5706

Spencer, nieces, Taylor and Mia, sister-in-law, Jenny

Spencer, nieces, Taylor and Mia, sister-in-law, Jenny

 

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32 thoughts on “Spenglish

  1. I once asked two of my nephews about Cricket. Their predictable response (and one I agree with is) “Whatever.” Disclosure: they both play lacrosse. Why would anyone dress in all whites to play in the dirt? Oh, am I digressing?

    As or Spencer’s ‘Spenglish’ I, too, have been guilty of such creativeness.

    Like

  2. Oh, I love the stories families ‘spin,’ Shelley! Poor Spencer! I think we had my little brother believing that he came with the milkman, since my brother, father and I had dark hair and he was a cute,blonde towhead! But, of course, he found out that his grandfather, before he turned gray had been born in Sweden and also, blonde! I love the family photos, too! You have such a way of rambling and adding thoughts that makes me feel that we are on the phone, changing subjects from family, sports to dogs… Smiles, Robin

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    • Awww thanks Robin. Rambling would definitely describe how our family moves from one topic to another. One of our friends says his goal is to finish a conversation that was started 10 years ago. Too funny. Thanks for the thumbs up on the pic’s. I used my new lens for some of those close ups.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Ha! Ha! I’ve watched a little cricket in England. Yawwwnnnn. It makes baseball look like it’s a crazy fast paced game. Spencer, did you read that??? Too funny. Thanks for the thumbs up on the pic’s. Working on it!

      Liked by 1 person

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