This S#%T Just got Real

Hunt.

Bid.

Wait.

Wait some more

Buy.

Shelley and John: Yayyyyyyyy!!!  We bought a house. We bought a house.

WE.

BOUGHT

A

HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!

Shelley: It has so many things on our wish list. The living area faces southwest and

John: the mountains.

Shelley: The back yard is private.

John: There’s room to park our RV.

Shelley: There’s a den downstairs.

John: It’s on a quiet established neighbourhood,

Shelley: with beautiful oak floors,

John: with two sheds in the backyard.

Shelley: Of course we’ll have to replace the roof and

John: One will be my man cave.

Shelley: take out those fireplaces. Dear God, the upstairs fire place is 71/2 by 41/2. That’s over 30 square feet of living space.

John: Imagine. My very own man cave. My very first “No women allowed man cave.” Crazy.

Shelley: Imagine. The downstair’s fireplace heats the hallway. Crazy.

John: My man cave will definitely have lights and

Shelley: My master bathroom will definitely have a shower and

John: a heater and

Shelley: we’ll update the kitchen with glossy white cabinets and

Like this

John: a fan because air con would be over the top and

Shelley: a light grey quartz countertop which is over the top and will push us over the budget but

John: I’d really like a TV but

Shelley: I’d really like a quartz countertop.

John: the shed doesn’t have electricity.

Shelley and John: Now don’t worry because I have a plan.

John: I’ll buy a long electrical cord. A very long electrical cord. Like over a hundred feet long.

Shelley: We’ll cut costs by taking down the chimney and fireplaces ourselves.

John: I’ll thread it through a plastic pipe like the one I used when installing the underground sprinkler system at Habitat.

Shelley: We’ll put on our climbing harnesses, tie into our climbing rope, borrow a sledge hammer from my brother, Shenley, and get to work.

Shelley and John: I know we’ve never ever done anything like that before but…

John: Your brother, Steve, is actually planning to do the same thing on his land.

Shelley: I’ve YouTubed it.

Shelley and John: Definitely not a big deal. Agreed?

Shelley and John: Agreed.

Shelley:…

John:…

Shelley: Wait.

John: What did you just say?

Shelley and John: Oh. Oh. This S#%T Just got Real!

Shelley and John