Recent Smith life recap:
Buy a home
Wait to take possession by
visiting Home Depot…
Home Depot Employee #1: Have you considered a front door with glass?
Shelley: I’m not sure if glass is the way to go in this climate.
Shelley: Excuse me for one second. What’s up?
John: Remember the chop saw I saw in Home Hardware?
John: I found the same one here but it’s a hundred dollars cheaper.
Shelley: I thought we agreed not to buy it.
John: We did, but this one’s a hundred dollars cheaper.
Shelley: I thought we agreed that we’d wait until we moved into our new house to see whether or not we need to replace the baseboards.
John: We did, but since that conversation I’ve made a list of other projects that need a chop saw.
Shelley: Of course you did.
John: For starters, we have to replace the deck.
Shelley: I’m pretty sure the builder said maybe a few boards.
John: For now, yes, but we need to plan for the future, and if I make a bean bag tossing game, I’ll need a saw to make the wooden target.
Shelley: Can’t we rent one from Home Depot?
Home Depot Employee #2: (Appears out of no where, yeah right) For twenty-four hours.
Shelley: And twenty-four hours is…
Home Depot Employee #2 and John: not nearly long enough to complete any real work.
Shelley: Can’t we borrow Shenley’s (my brother)?
Home Depot Employee #2: You borrow someone’s miter saw, eventually you’re going to break it.
John: Exactly what I was going to say. Shelley, you know that every time we borrow expensive things, we break them. Remember Shenley’s blow up kayaks, Julie’s sewing machine…?
Shelley: OK. OK. I give. Can you wait until Father’s Day?
Home Depot Employee #2: Sale won’t last forever.
John: Sale won’t last forever.
Shelley: You’re sure this is what you need?
Shelley: I don’t know. It’s a lot of money.
Home Depot Employee #2: Did you tell her that Home Depot has a policy where not only will they match their competitions’ prices, they’ll take an additional 10% off.
John: I did not. Thank you. Shelley, Home Depot has a policy where not only will they match their competitions’ prices, they’ll take an additional 10% off.
Shelley: (Turns to Home Depot Employee #1) I think I’m being double teamed here. What do you think?
Home Depot Employee #1: I don’t think, I know that every man needs a chop saw.
Shelley and John