I’m Definitely Having a Moment


Matt and Emma (Skyping me from Kuwait): Mom! What have you done to your hair?

Shelley: Long story, but lucky for you, dad’s still in England, so I’ve plenty of time to share it. I’ll start at the beginning. You might not know this, but for the last year, I’ve been thinking about not dyeing my hair, because I’m tired of the hassle of colouring it every five weeks, for twenty-seven years, not to mention how good ole menopause has thinned it out. I realized I would be taking a chance that people may no longer think I’m a young fourty, fourty-five, fourty-seven, fifty year old, but was willing to sacrifice. Sadly, I wasn’t sure how to go about it, until I watched, “House of Cards” where I spotted Robyn Wright, with her fabulous haircut, one that I could easily copy, except for the little detail of how her top section is blonde and mine would be white.



My hair dresser did exactly as requested, left the top as is and dyed the bottom, but when I returned home, I hated the mix of white roots and brown ends, so


I returned to the salon, and had her cut and cut and cut and cut until I yelled, “Stop! If you keep cutting, I won’t have any hair left!”

But she said, “If I stop, you’ll be left with random brown patches and I don’t have any time to bleach them.”

And I said, “I don’t care.” but when I returned home, I realized I did care, so I grabbed my scissors and began viciously hacking out the brown patches until it dawned on me that pink patches of skin were also not what I wanted, so I Googled,

“How to remove unwanted hair colour.”

Luckily for me, the first site that popped up listed 10 sure fire ways of bleaching unwanted colour. Not willing to take any chances, I mixed

# three – peroxide

# five – lemon juice

# six – Baking soda

together and mashed the concoction into my hair, but even after an hour, those freakin’ brown patches hadn’t shifted.

I was gutted.

But, as you know, “Smiths don’t quit” so, I jammed on my baseball cap, headed to the grocery store, and bought


a box of professional hair colour remover and a box of hair dye because I was unsure of my next move. Finally, after hours, days, minutes seconds of deliberation, I chose


the professional hair colour remover knowing that if it didn’t work, I could always return to dyeing my hair every five weeks. Sixty minutes in, I was horrified to see that my brown patches were orange. Apparently I missed this little detail.


Thoroughly panicked, I frantically grabbed the half empty bleach bottle out of the garbage, opened it and… and… Damn if the solution didn’t explode.


After clean up, note that it's still foaming.

After clean up, note that the bottle is still foaming.

Including in my wine. I’m not sure what traumatized me more, my hair or bleached wine. Despite it being 11:30 PM, I shot off a text to Andrew,


And that, Matt and Emma, is the story of how my hair came to look like this…


Matt and Emma: Are you crying?

Shelley: I’m definitely having a moment.

Flowers to cheer up mom  from Matt and Emma

Flowers to cheer up mom from Matt and Emma

Shelley and John


44 thoughts on “I’m Definitely Having a Moment

    • Oh my! Thanks for the thumbs up. Have picked up John at the airport. He also loves it so I will bring back the dye. Can’t help but think that I have one foot in the grave.:)


  1. Oh my god. John needs to get his ass home — you’re a bit stir-crazy I dare say!Honestly, I LOVE it!!! I need your hair dresser. Seriously, fabulous cut! I whacked mine all off last summer or rather, the hot hair god, Guatelupe, agreed to whack it after he evaluated my ears and determined that they were “adequately tapered.” But my gosh, it looked good for approximately a day and I am too impulsive and tend to hack haphazardly anytime I’m near scissors, so now I’m in growing out hell. And don’t even get me started on color, says the woman who began graying at 19!!!!


    • John’s home! He says he thinks it’s great. As we were ordering our lunch a stranger came up to me and asked where I had my hair cut. Too funny. As for impulsive hair moves, I hear you. My hair is so thin from all those years of colouring and freakin’ menopause, I’m sure I heard it thank me. You can grow it out. Patience and hide the scissors.


    • Ha! Ha! Thanks. John says he loves it too. It’s actually a shock when I look in the mirror, but don’t think I’ll go back to the old days. We’ll see.


  2. I love, love love white/blonde hair and only wish mine would get on with becoming all the same colour . It’s brave but worth it , just think of all the chemicals you were putting on your hair before and that it might all fall out because of that…….😊 Stick with it, I think you will love it eventually and it will all be fine xxxxxxxxx I really like it by the way!!


    • I love you Babs. The chemicals and menopause were killing it. Now I have to get used to looking in the mirror and accept I’m getting up there. Boo! Wahhhh!


    • Awww thanks Linda. I was pretty horrified when those brown patches turned orange, but eventually I’ll cut them out and the top will be all white. John bought me a pair of gold hoops to make me feel better. God bless. I want to read your post about dyeing your hair red.


  3. So funny!! I once dyed my hair a mixture of the color purple and poop. I was going for red but the hairdresser who fixed me said something about my original hair color made it go purpley brown!


  4. There’s not a woman I know who covers gray who doesn’t want to stop the process and “go natural.” I remember my mother in law saying to her 70 year old friends who brought up the subject, “Girls; you’re too young to go gray!” So when is it appropriate: at 80?


    • Too funny. I don’t know when it’s a good time to stop. Maybe when your husband is away for two weeks, you’ve completed everything on your list and you have nothing else to do? 🙂


  5. OK, I like the new look! Saving money on putting god-knows-what on your hair seems like a win-win. (I am still in the god-knows-what phase because the grey is just so mousy.) You go!


    • Thanks Kate. I’m still in a bit of shock when I head to the mirror. The chemicals and menopause, were causing it to fall out in handfuls. I feel your agony about the indecision. Nine years ago, my friends in Japan were pushing me to stop. They said get a crazy hair cut and you’ll never go back. Good luck!


  6. Hang in there my friend .. We all are never pleased with hair color, cuts .. What our clone might be looking good with, somehow never looks good on us . What’s with the irony ..


  7. Oh dear! What is it with 50 and hair? I had the most beautiful long hair and when I was 50 ( two years ago) I decided I wanted a change. No forethought at all. Was at the hairdresser for a little trim and foils when out of my mouth popped the words ” cut it all off” and he did! Right up to my ears. I liked it for about an hour. NowI’ve spent the last two years trying to get it to grow out a bit but it will never be the same. Sigh. You have my sympathy, even though I think you look fine. 🙂


  8. How traumatic for you. I let my natural color come in and it surprised me on what color it was. I went from bottle blonde to salt and pepper in one year, but not having to color it is very freeing not to mention how soft my hair is now. Hopefully you will be able to conquer the transition and go natural. But if you can’t handle it then there is alway ms nice and easy willing to help. Good luck.


    • Grandma Chris, so good to hear from you, especially when I needed some thumbs up. I don’t think I’ll ever go back. I’ve already shown it to my husband and kids. John loves it. And the boys go with whatever crazy thing I do.


    • Thanks! Oh like the carrot orange streaks in mine???? Went through the rest of the family gauntlet today. They went easy on me. I deserved a lot of teasing. 🙂


      • 🙂 No..mine looked like Carrot Top! Hideous! I stripped the color out completely and then put a light brown on top of it. Swore I would never, ever do it again! But…I did. Only had to get it professionally fixed that time. Us girls sometimes just need to change it up occasionally. 🙂


  9. Shelley, I can’t believe I didn’t see your new post till now…I think you look GREAT! I am a big fan of going natural. I did it probably two years ago now, and I have white around the top and sides, and the rest is much darker than I ever realized due to “highlights” I had for years that made me mostly blonde. I have gotten more compliments on my hair since I went natural than ever before. 😀 Makes me very happy and I hope it does you too!


      • Thanks. My underside very dark too! See, we are sisters. Still getting used to it, but it was definitely time. I think the flowers were also due to the fact that I was a little teary thinking about Christmas and the fact that I won’t be with either of my boys. Thank God John is home!!! I might have been losing it a little. 🙂


      • The flowers were so lovely, made me cry. I know. I know. I think menopause is partially responsible for the water works! John’s back. Thank God!


    • Thanks! It’s so great to look in the mirror and after the shock realize that I’m basically done! Well except the little strip on the back so I still look like Robyn. I’m so cheap, when I’m in the States, most of my cuts were done in Wal-mart! 🙂


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