Butt Hole

“Yuma Lakes, Arizona to El Golfo de Santa Maria, Mexico – Border Crossing: Expect your RV to be inspected.” We were lucky!

“The lanes are unmarked. The shoulders can drop off as much as 20 feet.”

“Many Mexican drivers drive very slowly. Others are jackrabbits. Some will not even be concerned about bouncing off other vehicles. Mexico only requires a person to be of age and possess a water bill.” (Info. supplied by our Guide’s hand out.

Success! 90 miles south of the border is El Golfo de Santa Maria, Mexico

El Golfo RV Park, Santa Maria, Mexico

View from our RV park.

Sunset on Santa Maria’s (Mexico), beach.

Mom: Roy, you’re turn. Relax everyone. This may take a while.

Shelley: Why do we play “Butt Hole” when we know it takes hours to play?

John: Should I start breakfast?

Mom, Shelley and John: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Dad: Why is it always, “Pile on Roy” time whenever it’s my turn? No one makes fun of Shelley when it’s her turn.

Shelley: That’s because I don’t take forever.

Dad: I don’t take forever. In fact, I never take forever. You guys take forever. And if I did take forever it’s because every card John gives me is the wrong one. Every. Time.

All I need is one… very… special… card. Jusssssttttttt wahhhhnnnneee. Should I take the top card from the discard pile that I don’t really need… Or… Hmmmmmmmmm…. Should I pick up all of the discarded cards, plus two from the top of the deck? Risky. But I’ll do it.

Mom, Shelley and John: Noooo! You can’t. You’ve already picked up twice.

Dad: See, there you all go again, “Piling up on Roy.” Fine. I’ve already picked up twice, so I won’t pick up again… Tsk. Tsk… Guess I’ll take the next card off the top of the deck… Waiting for magic… Neeeed a little magic here. If I don’t get some magic, I’m dead.

Dead. In. The. Water.

Sigh. No. No. No.That is not going to help. Not at all. Jeeshh! What have I done to get such bad cards? If I could just draw one lousy good card out of every four, I’m sure I could win. But for now, I’m going to have to think about what I’m going to do with this one.

Mom: It’s like your dad doesn’t filter anything he says. Everything that comes out of his mouth is exactly what he’s thinking.

Shelley: Holllleeeee S#$T!!

John: Dear God!

Dad: Yes? What do you want “now” John?

Everyone: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Mom: Give me the knife. I won’t even waste time. I’m going straight across.

Shelley and John

How to play the card game, “Butt Hole.”

• Use 2 decks for up to 5 people, 3 decks with more.
• The objective of the game is to lay down all of your cards before the other players.
• If a player lays all of their cards down before you, the cards in your hand count against you. Joker= 50, Ace= 15, 2-7=5, 8-K=10 points.
• For the first 5 hands 11 cards are dealt.
• For hands 5-7, 13 cards are dealt.
• You are allowed 2 buys per round; pick up all of the discards, plus two off the deck.
• Once you lay down what’s required, you may play on other players’ books and runs.
• Deck is turned over if you run out of cards. You can turn the deck over twice.
• Only one joker can be used in a book or a run.
• Lowest score wins.

What the minimum requirement is for each round. (Book is a minimum of 3 of a kind. You may have more than 3). A run is a same suit straight of a minimum of 4. You may have more than 4 in a straight.)

• 2 books
• 1 book, 1 run
• 2 runs
• 3 books
• 2 books, 1 run
• 2 runs, 1 book
• 3 runs

Day 169, Feb. 10th, 2014

Dec. 15 – Feb. 10th, 2014

Shelley and John