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Say G’day to Bruce, Bruce

  Matt: Let’s play a game that uses the characters’ names from the show, “Neighbours.” Here’s how you play. I say, “G’day Bruce” to the person next to me. That person replies, “G’day Bruce.” Then I say, “Say G’day to Bruce, Bruce” to the same person who, in turn, repeats the sequence with the next player. If a player makes a mistake, his…

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Love and Marriage

This summer, my husband John and I finally met Matt’s love of his life, Emma. We immediately fell in love with this charming bubbly Scottish lass. How could we not? We were thrilled when they announced their engagement. John and I are not the least bit worried about their future as a married couple. They’ll be fine. Shelley:…

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Just be You, UNLESS UR A D#$%HEAD

Why my brother, Spencer, gave me an iPhone… Spencer: What happened to your phone? Shelley: I dropped it while making the Habitat video. It was less than a week old too. Sigh. Spencer: Why don’t you get a new screen? Shelley: Because replacing the screen costs as much as a new phone. I’m going to wait to…

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I May Vomit

What Shelley Thinks: Happy thoughts. She’s making a sale. What Shelley Says: Sooo… $175 for the desk, take away $19 for the returned handles, plus $8.50 for the paint brush, add your 12% tax and that comes to $184.24. Customer:… What Shelley Thinks: Same as above. What Shelley Says: Bring Cash, what BC stands for, right?…

Taylor and Mia giving Auntie Shelley some love

There’s Going to be S#$T and H#LL to Pay

Doctor: How’s it going? Shelley: Now that my foot feels better, awesome. Thank goodness, because John and I recently celebrated “Christmas in July” with our kids (Matt and Andrew) and their significant others (Ash and Emma). Doctor: Nice. Now tell me how you strained the tendon in your foot. (Opens his folder, takes out his pen) Shelley: I was out for a…

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Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bannnnggggggggg!

  My brother, Shenley: How’d the bathroom renos go? John: Awful. We missed your help. Trust me, I would rather have spent the entire day at Kin Beach. Shenley: Couldn’t have been that bad. John: Oh it was. Trust me. Flashback to the morning… Bang! Bang! Bang! BANG!!! John: Arghhhhhhh! G#$ Damn it! The nail keeps bending when I hammer…