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Just be You, UNLESS UR A D#$%HEAD

Why my brother, Spencer, gave me an iPhone… Spencer: What happened to your phone? Shelley: I dropped it while making the Habitat video. It was less than a week old too. Sigh. Spencer: Why don’t you get a new screen? Shelley: Because replacing the screen costs as much as a new phone. I’m going to wait to…

2014-07-27 13.49.46

I May Vomit

What Shelley Thinks: Happy thoughts. She’s making a sale. What Shelley Says: Sooo… $175 for the desk, take away $19 for the returned handles, plus $8.50 for the paint brush, add your 12% tax and that comes to $184.24. Customer:… What Shelley Thinks: Same as above. What Shelley Says: Bring Cash, what BC stands for, right?…

Taylor and Mia giving Auntie Shelley some love

There’s Going to be S#$T and H#LL to Pay

Doctor: How’s it going? Shelley: Now that my foot feels better, awesome. Thank goodness, because John and I recently celebrated “Christmas in July” with our kids (Matt and Andrew) and their significant others (Ash and Emma). Doctor: Nice. Now tell me how you strained the tendon in your foot. (Opens his folder, takes out his pen) Shelley: I was out for a…

Created with Nokia Smart Cam

Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bannnnggggggggg!

  My brother, Shenley: How’d the bathroom renos go? John: Awful. We missed your help. Trust me, I would rather have spent the entire day at Kin Beach. Shenley: Couldn’t have been that bad. John: Oh it was. Trust me. Flashback to the morning… Bang! Bang! Bang! BANG!!! John: Arghhhhhhh! G#$ Damn it! The nail keeps bending when I hammer…