Day 1: From “The Valley of Fire,” near Las Vegas, Nevada…
Day 3: From Oregon…
Shelley: So, there was this womaaaaaaan…
John: Don’t. Please.
Shelley: Who lost her dawwwwggg….
John: I beg you. No.
Shelley: Whose name was…
Shelley: Titswiggle. Although she ran around the neighbourhood calling, “Titswiggle! TITSWIGGLE!!! OH TITSWIGGLE! WHERE ARE YOUHOOOOOO????” she still couldn’t find him.
John: Oh Jesus.
Shelley: Frantic, she asked the bus driver, “Oh sir! Sir!!!!”
John: This is a terrible joke.
Shelley: “Oh sir! SIR!!!!”
John: Dear God. How many times have I heard this one?
Shelley: “Have you seen my Titswiggle?”
John: Just shoot me.
Shelley: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha! And he said… Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha!
John: And wait for it. Waaaait for it.
Shelley: “No Ma’am, but I sure would like to!”
John: And there it is.
Shelley: Oh! Ha! Ha! Ha! Good one, right?
Shelley: Did you notice that I didn’t forget the punch line?
John: I sure did.
Shelley: Euuuuhhhhhhhh. I just Bomitted in my mouth.
Shelley: Ughhh…. It was bacon fat and scrambled eggs. I never know what to do if that happens, if I should…
John: Shelley! You’re disgusting!
Shelley: If you could be someone else for a day who would it be?
John: A dog.
John: So I could lick…
Shelley: John!!! Now who’s disgusting??
Shelley: Want to see who can hold their breath the longest?
John: What? No! You’re driving.
Shelley: Trust me. I could still beat you long before I became dizzy. I am the champion breath holder in the hot tub of the family, you know. Well, actually, I’m second best. No one can beat my dad.
John: Not happening.
Shelley: Then how about we play “Two Truths and a Lie?”
John: I don’t think so.
Shelley: Gawwwwddddd! We still have 3/4’s of an hour left. What are we going to do?
Shelley: 99 bottles of beer on the wallllll! 99 BOTTLES OF BEER!!!!!!!! COME ON HONEY! By the time we finish the song, we’ll be in Blaine!
YOU TAKE ONE DOWWWNNNNN! PASS IT AROUND! 98 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALLLLL!! 98 BOTTLES OF BEER….
Shelley and John